There is one great thing about the suburbs in the summer:
the vastness of the area, the evenly paved sidewalks, and the silence of the evenings allow for great summer night walks alone.
Everyone is in bed by ten, which times perfectly with the coming of the cool evening air.
The straight paved sidewalks allow for swift determined strides with swaying hips.
The sole klunking footsteps can be heard throughout, mixed with the familiar chirping sounds of a cricket.
Bunnies run ahead, startled by the incoming stranger.
Thoughts clear and confidence gains as the steps proceed; a march to one's own mind.
In a place as dreary and uniform as the suburban community, it is hard to think that one can get any peace of mind,
But it is there...
in those peaceful, inspiring summer night walks.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Summer Night Walks
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Distinction in Levels of Thinking
Most people can be classed into two different personality types – “over-thinkers and under-thinkers”. I use these terms vaguely because I feel they both are viewed negatively, but for the sake of this paper, I wish to view them in a completely neutral manner. In addition, being a relativist, I cannot say whether one is good or bad, but I now have experienced both extremes and therefore can tell you which one I prefer. Actually, that past comment was a lie, I was never able to completely become a complete “under-thinker” or as I like to call it in a more friendlier fashion, a “carefree” person, but I came very close to it. To be honest, I don’t know if I know any female can be a complete “carefree” person, it seems to be just in our nature to over think things. However, I do think there are different levels of over thinking that a woman can do, or more correctly, different depths. The first depth is just surfacing analyzing and from there it gets deeper and deeper.
To explain, let’s go over an example. Lets think about a girl who just got her first kiss from a boy. For an easier analysis of various depths, I will section it off into three different levels ascending with the depth of thinking. Referring back to the kiss: first level analyzers, or top surface analyzers, would probably just reflect back onto the event and think or worry about things such as what they looked like when he kissed them, how they were at kissing, or how was their breath when they kissed. Basically they would think of what many consider “shallow” and “self-centered” questions. The second level thinking, however, would take more into consideration, the boy’s thoughts along with their own. Example: in addition to first level thoughts, they would probably wonder what he was thinking about when he was kissing her, they would think about what they felt when they kissed, did they feel anything special, was he the right guy for them, did he actually like them, and so on. Finally, the third level thinkers, in addition to first and second level thoughts, contemplate the event in relation to their lives. For example, they would think about the meaning of the kiss – What does the kiss mean to them? To him? How is the kiss going to change the dynamics between them? What are other people going to think? Are they ready to embark in a quasi-sexual relationship? Are they mature enough for a relationship? Do they even want one? Will this even end up in one? Will they regret their first being with him? The list of questions and analyses for third level thinkers could go on and on.
Both the second and third level thoughts can cause stress, but the best way to distinguish third and second level thoughts, is that those of third level can drive a person to depression. This is because they take the event and place it in respect to their life, and when reflecting on this they often focus on the bad, leading them to stress and sometimes leading them to depression. Therefore, I am going to place first and second level thinkers in the “under-thinking and carefree” category. I also want to propose the idea that over thinking does not develop until one reaches their adolescence. Below the age of about 11 of 12, most children can be classified as “under thinkers”, reasonably so. I am sure that there are a few exceptions, but they are rare and so we will assume that most children are carefree. In addition, although earlier I reflected that these different levels were only found in girls. I must correct myself, for I am told that men may also have different levels. However, judging from my own experience, I seem to only have met two types: worry-free men and third level thinking men.
Going back to the distinction between under and over thinkers, I want to focus on which class of people is preferred. The majority of my adolescence that I can remember I have been an over thinker. However, this past year I experienced the more “carefree” world for the first time since I was about 10. In general, being carefree has a positive connotation and being worrisome has a negative one. However, ironically, I feel that the previous notion is one that is created by carefree people themselves. Although it is not always ideal to worry, I do not believe it is ideal to never worry. If one does not worry about any others then they will not be considerate of others and will show no empathy for others. They, however, probably will still be happy because they will be oblivious to this fact, but they will miss some of the greatest things in life, such as consciously making another person happy. In addition, often worry and sympathy for something can turn itself around into passion. Completely carefree people often lack a sincere compassion for others.
However, being an “under thinker” is not always bad for the person, and often, because of their low depth of thought, they do not see it as bad at all. In fact, it is quite enjoyable to be carefree. I must say that I feel that last year was one of the most enjoyable years I have had in a long time. Not being a thinker after being a thinker for so long was a great vacation for my mind, but it did not last long. I’m not sure if the transition back to thinking was by choice or by accident. I am so worrisome and stressed presently, that I do not understand why I would have made the change back by choice, but I do remember beginning to doubt my carefree ways at the end of the semester and beginning to question myself. I did this consciously. I realized that being carefree had caused me to loose my identity, my sense of self, and my ability to reflect, and I was unsure if it was a good or bad change. Buddhist thought encourages this feeling and thinks of the feeling of no-self as a positive thing to aim for. However, although part of me understands what they are saying, part of me also feel that if one looses their identity and sense of self with it they also loose the excitement of life and become numb to the events around them. They, or at least in my own case, become detached and can no longer relate to the problems and drama that surrounds them. It is hard for them to understand pain and drama, and therefore, it is hard for them to be sincerely there for a person who is suffering these things. They can listen to another’s problems, but they cannot truly relate. I will make a personal injection here and note that false sincerity is one of my least favorite characteristics.
In society today, being carefree is considered an ideal trait, but I feel that without the drama and worry, life is not real. However, this is not to say that over thinkers are the better people. In fact, they suffer from some of the same problems under thinkers have. Being worrisome and constantly thinking can also cause detachment from the world. Many times people can become so engulfed in their own thoughts that they are no longer living in the present. In addition, the mere fact that third level thinkers can drive themselves to depression is also unprogressive and harmful. Often times third level thinkers can drive themselves to depression by wishing they did not think so much and wanting to be a more “carefree” person but not being able to. This is actually a common problem over thinkers have: not accepting their worrisome habits and falling for the cultural believe that being a carefree person is the better option. Over thinkers are often not satisfied. Some can turn this dissatisfaction into passion for change, but others may turn this dissatisfaction into a feeling of helplessness. In addition, over thinking can lead to unclear thoughts and indecision. Therefore, although not all, sometimes over thinking can become self-destructive. However, sometimes, like those mentioned previously, it can lead to several positive outcomes.
Over thinkers have the ability to appreciate more than under thinkers. They are able as many say, “see the bigger picture”, and although that may include some bad things, it also includes several positive things. They are able to understand the world and the things in it from a larger perspective, and being able to see all aspects of a situation, they can appreciate all sides, good and bad. Although many tend to focus on the negative, some appreciate their ability to feel this pain and can derive the positive outcomes of the situation. This ability to see the positive in a negative event may not come directly but may emerge when they reflect on the event later in their life.
If I had to choose which of the two types of thinkers that I preferred, I would choose both. If this statement surprises you, it should not, for this must be expected coming from a relativist. I do, however, have a bias towards over thinkers, for I would qualify myself as one. This qualification is apparent, if one is reading this paper appropriately. However, as I was mentioning before, I very much enjoyed the time that I was able achieve more of an under thinker status. My natural tendencies eventually led me back to over thinking and worrying, but I cannot say that experiencing the carefree side was a bad experience. Actually, I must admit that it has been hard for me to adjust back to my old ways. The stress, worry, and drama that is now back in my life has not been taken lightly. However, I do think that that may just be part of who I am, which brings up the question of how and what decides whether a person is an over thinker or and under thinker. I personally, myself, do not know how or why I became the way I am. Perhaps it is genetic and one is born with this disposition, or perhaps it is determined by childhood environment. For this question, I do not know the answer presently, but perhaps I will reflect on it another day. However, for now I will leave it at this: People can be grouped into to different types - under thinkers and over thinkers. Both types have negative and positive attributes, and neither have superiority over another. There is an ability to change which class one falls into, but it is hard and often times requires a traumatic event, especially when going from over thinking to under thinking. In addition, the transition must occur gradually and naturally. Trying to force yourself to be the type that you are not often results in failure and dissatisfaction. The most ideal type of person is one who can find a balance between the two types, extracting only the positive aspects of both sides. However, I do not know if this balance is actually possible. I hope that it is, however, and I hope to be able to achieve it myself. Now that I have experienced both sides of the spectrum, I hope to create a third type, which falls in a balance between the two distinguished types.
To explain, let’s go over an example. Lets think about a girl who just got her first kiss from a boy. For an easier analysis of various depths, I will section it off into three different levels ascending with the depth of thinking. Referring back to the kiss: first level analyzers, or top surface analyzers, would probably just reflect back onto the event and think or worry about things such as what they looked like when he kissed them, how they were at kissing, or how was their breath when they kissed. Basically they would think of what many consider “shallow” and “self-centered” questions. The second level thinking, however, would take more into consideration, the boy’s thoughts along with their own. Example: in addition to first level thoughts, they would probably wonder what he was thinking about when he was kissing her, they would think about what they felt when they kissed, did they feel anything special, was he the right guy for them, did he actually like them, and so on. Finally, the third level thinkers, in addition to first and second level thoughts, contemplate the event in relation to their lives. For example, they would think about the meaning of the kiss – What does the kiss mean to them? To him? How is the kiss going to change the dynamics between them? What are other people going to think? Are they ready to embark in a quasi-sexual relationship? Are they mature enough for a relationship? Do they even want one? Will this even end up in one? Will they regret their first being with him? The list of questions and analyses for third level thinkers could go on and on.
Both the second and third level thoughts can cause stress, but the best way to distinguish third and second level thoughts, is that those of third level can drive a person to depression. This is because they take the event and place it in respect to their life, and when reflecting on this they often focus on the bad, leading them to stress and sometimes leading them to depression. Therefore, I am going to place first and second level thinkers in the “under-thinking and carefree” category. I also want to propose the idea that over thinking does not develop until one reaches their adolescence. Below the age of about 11 of 12, most children can be classified as “under thinkers”, reasonably so. I am sure that there are a few exceptions, but they are rare and so we will assume that most children are carefree. In addition, although earlier I reflected that these different levels were only found in girls. I must correct myself, for I am told that men may also have different levels. However, judging from my own experience, I seem to only have met two types: worry-free men and third level thinking men.
Going back to the distinction between under and over thinkers, I want to focus on which class of people is preferred. The majority of my adolescence that I can remember I have been an over thinker. However, this past year I experienced the more “carefree” world for the first time since I was about 10. In general, being carefree has a positive connotation and being worrisome has a negative one. However, ironically, I feel that the previous notion is one that is created by carefree people themselves. Although it is not always ideal to worry, I do not believe it is ideal to never worry. If one does not worry about any others then they will not be considerate of others and will show no empathy for others. They, however, probably will still be happy because they will be oblivious to this fact, but they will miss some of the greatest things in life, such as consciously making another person happy. In addition, often worry and sympathy for something can turn itself around into passion. Completely carefree people often lack a sincere compassion for others.
However, being an “under thinker” is not always bad for the person, and often, because of their low depth of thought, they do not see it as bad at all. In fact, it is quite enjoyable to be carefree. I must say that I feel that last year was one of the most enjoyable years I have had in a long time. Not being a thinker after being a thinker for so long was a great vacation for my mind, but it did not last long. I’m not sure if the transition back to thinking was by choice or by accident. I am so worrisome and stressed presently, that I do not understand why I would have made the change back by choice, but I do remember beginning to doubt my carefree ways at the end of the semester and beginning to question myself. I did this consciously. I realized that being carefree had caused me to loose my identity, my sense of self, and my ability to reflect, and I was unsure if it was a good or bad change. Buddhist thought encourages this feeling and thinks of the feeling of no-self as a positive thing to aim for. However, although part of me understands what they are saying, part of me also feel that if one looses their identity and sense of self with it they also loose the excitement of life and become numb to the events around them. They, or at least in my own case, become detached and can no longer relate to the problems and drama that surrounds them. It is hard for them to understand pain and drama, and therefore, it is hard for them to be sincerely there for a person who is suffering these things. They can listen to another’s problems, but they cannot truly relate. I will make a personal injection here and note that false sincerity is one of my least favorite characteristics.
In society today, being carefree is considered an ideal trait, but I feel that without the drama and worry, life is not real. However, this is not to say that over thinkers are the better people. In fact, they suffer from some of the same problems under thinkers have. Being worrisome and constantly thinking can also cause detachment from the world. Many times people can become so engulfed in their own thoughts that they are no longer living in the present. In addition, the mere fact that third level thinkers can drive themselves to depression is also unprogressive and harmful. Often times third level thinkers can drive themselves to depression by wishing they did not think so much and wanting to be a more “carefree” person but not being able to. This is actually a common problem over thinkers have: not accepting their worrisome habits and falling for the cultural believe that being a carefree person is the better option. Over thinkers are often not satisfied. Some can turn this dissatisfaction into passion for change, but others may turn this dissatisfaction into a feeling of helplessness. In addition, over thinking can lead to unclear thoughts and indecision. Therefore, although not all, sometimes over thinking can become self-destructive. However, sometimes, like those mentioned previously, it can lead to several positive outcomes.
Over thinkers have the ability to appreciate more than under thinkers. They are able as many say, “see the bigger picture”, and although that may include some bad things, it also includes several positive things. They are able to understand the world and the things in it from a larger perspective, and being able to see all aspects of a situation, they can appreciate all sides, good and bad. Although many tend to focus on the negative, some appreciate their ability to feel this pain and can derive the positive outcomes of the situation. This ability to see the positive in a negative event may not come directly but may emerge when they reflect on the event later in their life.
If I had to choose which of the two types of thinkers that I preferred, I would choose both. If this statement surprises you, it should not, for this must be expected coming from a relativist. I do, however, have a bias towards over thinkers, for I would qualify myself as one. This qualification is apparent, if one is reading this paper appropriately. However, as I was mentioning before, I very much enjoyed the time that I was able achieve more of an under thinker status. My natural tendencies eventually led me back to over thinking and worrying, but I cannot say that experiencing the carefree side was a bad experience. Actually, I must admit that it has been hard for me to adjust back to my old ways. The stress, worry, and drama that is now back in my life has not been taken lightly. However, I do think that that may just be part of who I am, which brings up the question of how and what decides whether a person is an over thinker or and under thinker. I personally, myself, do not know how or why I became the way I am. Perhaps it is genetic and one is born with this disposition, or perhaps it is determined by childhood environment. For this question, I do not know the answer presently, but perhaps I will reflect on it another day. However, for now I will leave it at this: People can be grouped into to different types - under thinkers and over thinkers. Both types have negative and positive attributes, and neither have superiority over another. There is an ability to change which class one falls into, but it is hard and often times requires a traumatic event, especially when going from over thinking to under thinking. In addition, the transition must occur gradually and naturally. Trying to force yourself to be the type that you are not often results in failure and dissatisfaction. The most ideal type of person is one who can find a balance between the two types, extracting only the positive aspects of both sides. However, I do not know if this balance is actually possible. I hope that it is, however, and I hope to be able to achieve it myself. Now that I have experienced both sides of the spectrum, I hope to create a third type, which falls in a balance between the two distinguished types.
Sunday, February 5, 2006
Sunday, January 1, 2006
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